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But I also don’t buy the idea that people are simply oblivious to someone who is totally not wanting to have sex with them. I didn’t really internalize just how obvious it is when someone doesn’t want sex and just how easy it is to say “hey, I’m really feeling this right now, are you?” or “I’m not sure if you’re just naturally really quiet or if you’re not into this? Would you like to stop?” until I got with someone who really DID get it. Once I had the experience of someone really noticing not just when I didn’t want sex but even when I just wasn’t digging a particular sensation it became less and less believable to me that someone could completely miss huge signals of fear, pain and serious non consent.
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No. Virginity is not a physical issue, a way your body or vagina looks or anything to do with how you choose manage your period. It’s an idea or ideal, and the way most people define a virgin for those who choose to use that term at all is as a person who has not had either intercourse or other kinds of sex with another person yet or ever.
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